*head to toe: H&M top & skirt, UO bag, Forever21 wedges (old)
I'm pretty sure we (women) all go through this in some point of our lives. We seem to compete (or have competed) with other women at a societal level. But why? Is it because of society standards? We're judged by characteristics which we may have little control over; like physical appearance.
It's funny because I only have a handful of female friends that I sincerely call my friends. I have more male friends & I'm not sure if that's sad or not...it is what it is.
There's a reason why...
You know the whole saying that women are 'catty' and 'competitive'...it's somewhat true. I've never been the competitive type of woman, outside of a physical activity; and, in some cases, the office. And the friends I surround myself with are independent, low-maintenance, eclectic, grounded and educated women. I love being around my friends because they don't put on airs about who they are or what they stand for. Also, they're respectful ... there's no hidden agenda.
I personally think that there are some women out there who have flawed personalities and they don't even realize it. So what do these women do? They compete...they have to show why they're better than the next female in the room.
So here are some reasons I feel why women compete with other women...
1. Women feel that they can easily be replaced by a younger, more beautiful woman. Youth is a woman's fair-weathered friend.
2. Women feel that their level of physical beauty is based on 'luck' as opposed to something that she can control.
4. Women feel that other women can take something that they have worked hard to earn by using their beauty in the office, school and possibly the legal system because men admire a woman's beauty.
5. Women feel that other women cannot be trusted. They gossip too much, they're phony.
6. Women feel that other women divert attention away from them.
7. Women feel competitive with other women to be more attractive.
Things to realize:
You can never stop a man from looking at or admiring another woman's beauty. Point blank.
You are more than your physical body. You have so much to offer other than your looks.
You cannot control what other people think of you.
You can never compete with anyone but yourself.
Whatever you see in other people, develop in yourself.
You are the most important person in the world who should believe, and recognize your own authentic and unique beauty. Stop looking at the next woman.
I say all this because I deal with women today who can't even offer you a compliment on ANYTHING. And it's not like you're seeking that compliment. I compliment females often; even in the blogosphere. I comment, I 'like'; and it's genuine. I'm not looking for that person to compliment me / comment back. However, it just goes to show where I am in my life as a woman. I'm confident, I know who I am and what I'm capable of. Do you?
Oh well...what else can you say about the subject?
So what do you all think?
11 comments :
As I am about to type my response I'm LOL'ing at the cellulite butt cream advertisement on the side bar. *dead*
It's nice to be in a place and space where what others (in this case other women) think of you does not matter. Part of that comes with age and wisdom (for some). Having a blog takes a lot of confidence in yourself, your style, words, photos, poses, clothes, etc. because you WILL NOT get validation from comments, follows, views, or likes. So to those who are confident in self and skin, continue to do you. Nice post by the way.
Great post!! As a teenager and young woman, I found myself dimming my own light to appease females in my life who insisted on competing with me in their own heads. I grew out of that real quick and started to allow myself to be fully happy and show it! As you said, I can only be in competition with me.
As far as blogs go, I have heard about, but never actually felt any type of competition. I hope no one feels as though I comment, or visit their blog because I'm expecting anything in return. My comments and clicks are genuine.
BTW, cute skirt!! Love the black and red, with a little bit of white.
Great post! I have been realizing a lot of what your wrote here! I cant change what the next person thinks of me and I dont need validation from noone! Thanks for the post.
Well said so true!
Excellent post. I can honestly say that I find myself comparing myself to other women and, as a result, competing. It's something I'm actively working on changing because I'm beginning to embrace and build up my inner awesome. Thanks for calling a spade a spade in this :)
Great post. I love how you mix fashion with truth. I don't understand cattiness or competition.
This post is soooo on point, Corie!
I've always been one to flee competition and avoid confrontation. So in the past when I've become involuntarily involved in competitions with "friends" I would also shrink (as Ticka mentioned)to make them comfortable. After a while though, that gets played out. It makes you avoid relationships with other women because the cattiness can get overwhelming.
I would much rather compliment another woman and give her props. Spreading love and positivity never hurt anyone! And if those I compliment don't compliment me back, that's fine. I compliment them because I like what they're doing. I understand not everyone will like what I do and I'm fine with that.
In the blogging world, I haven't really experienced any competition myself, but I have witnessed it between others. It kind of made me sad that even on the Internet we can't seem to come together. That's why I appreciate every warm exchange from another blogger because it's something they didn't have to do, but chose to from the kindness of their hearts.
Thank you for sharing this!
so very true! i have this discussion with my friends and my mom often. i believe what you said is true...you can only compete with yourself.
great post!
~nic
www.nics-picks.com
Great post Corie. I guess I've never been one to pay attention to cattiness or drama of the sort, for one I've never felt the need to envy or compete with anyone (unless it was during sports or a dance off at the Friday night basement party;) and if someone were to tell me “such and such female is competing with you” I’d probably take it as a compliment or with a grain of salt. My thought process is life is too short to worry about what the next person is doing or if they have a motive. I too have more male friends than female but it’s been that way since childhood I’ve been told I have the mindset of a male so that’s probably why I just naturally mesh well with guys. As far as competition out here in the blogosphere I haven’t come across it. Again it could be me and my blazay way of looking at things and I’m just oblivious to what’s going on but for the most part I feel blogging is basically us (bloggers) trying to inspire or be inspired by others so again I probably wouldn’t put too much stock in the whole competitive issue. At the end of the day I stick to what works for me and that is blog about what I want, what I know, continue to “do me” and most importantly have fun with it. Anywho, now that my little tangent has come to a close…lol cute skirt and you styled it perfectly!
www.swoonblog.com
OMG, me and my sisters were talking about this the other day. We had a friendship with someone we grew up with and was close as sisters with, but as we grew older the cattiness and competitiveness started. We had quit a few falling outs because of it, now we are no longer close. Growing up we (me and my sisters) never had anything that we felt anyone needed to be jealous over but I guess someone else thought otherwise (shrugs). Like Jeeda said, I have never felt the need to compete with another women, plus my own life is good and I am not gonna spend it competing or being catty with the next chic!! I mean it only hurts you (the catty jealous person) in the long run because you spend your life trying to compete with and be better than someone else when you can be living your OWN life happily!!
When it comes to it happening in the blog world, I can't say I have seen that. I comment on blogs I like but I never do it to get them to comment back. If that was the case there are a few blogs I might need to stop following or commenting on if I am so worried about them returning the comment!!! LOL. But seriously, I am sure there is competition out there in the blogs, hey we are talking about women here LOL (some men can be too.) It is what it is though, I just choose not to partake in it. Sure I like comments and follows, but I'm not gonna compete with the next blogger to get them, uhmmmm no it's not even that serious!!
Carsedra of:
http://www.embracingtherealme.com/
http://sweets4yourtooth.blogspot.com/
Perfectly stated!
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